The black christian single guide to dating and sexuality Adult nairobi dating
I was sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee on the morning of my seventeenth birthday when a parcel arrived on my doorstep.
Excitedly, I ripped open the box to find half a dozen Christian books on sex, dating, and relationships.
The problem wasn’t the advice itself but rather my inability to reach the ideals that the books presented, and the consequences of such a failure.
I say “ideals,” because I no longer believe that the majority of Christian books on singleness and dating present realistic or healthy standards.
And if we fail at following these set ideals, does that mean we’ll never meet someone? Many Christian books fall back on an overly simplistic answer to these complicated questions: we should just treat all people like brothers or sisters until marriage.
For example, many of these books assume that sexual attraction is the “burden” of men and not something women struggle with.What’s a healthy view of sexual desire that acknowledges attraction and also doesn’t unfairly penalize or sexualize women? Am I really guaranteed to meet someone if I get all of this right?What if I just want to get the most out of my singleness and not marry at all?In my experience, there are too many books written by those who once struggled with singleness or sexual sin, had a revelation, set boundaries, and then met their soulmates.Their audience is those who want to get married, so the content is aimed at bringing hope into issues like loneliness, sexual purity, and discontentedness.