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Kilgore estimated that out of a random group of 10 women her age, only two or three will have a steady boyfriend, and the pressure that existed even a decade ago to be seen having a boyfriend had lessened. "I'll go through phases where I'm hooking up or making out with a guy a week," she said matter-of-factly, "but then go a month" without. These girls grew up just wanting to have fun but knew not to have too much."We've had so much sex ed," Ms. "With strangers, we are really cautious of the disease thing."And merely willing that age-old standards no longer apply does not make it so.

She guessed that on average she probably hooks up 10 or 12 times a year, something that can mean "lots of vodka, feeling the connection," but not always sex."It's all about fun," Ms. "Girls are becoming more like guys, but there is still a double standard," Ms. "You are told you can do everything, but you can't.

"You have to learn a lot about him before you hook up. "There are just too many things going on."For Helen Gurley Brown, for 31 years the editor of Cosmopolitan and the author of perhaps the original dating manual, "Sex and the Single Girl," which was published in 1962, the lives and concerns of Ms.

While men are obviously central to the "The Hookup Handbook" ethos (do you want to hook up with a Metroman or a Himbo tonight? "A relationship isn't the easiest thing to maintain, but swearing off boys isn't a viable option either," the chapter on "Defensive Non-Dating" states.Still, the back cover of "The Hook-up Handbook" makes a stab at it: a hookup is "anything from making out to doing the nasty, generally with no commitment or plans for said commitment." But as Ms. Rozler explain it, a hookup has less to do with what happens between people than with the surrounding circumstances: specifically, that the meeting is unplanned and even unexpected. "Late-night grinding on the dance floor, maybe a little groping" was one version, said Kate Kilgore, who is in public relations at Victoria's Secret Beauty.The few men who spoke up seemed to find the elastic nature of the term somewhat tiresome."On the girls' side, that's almost always true.""You can't just hook up with anyone," added Ms. Lavinthal said she is "more of a boyfriend girl than a hookup girl, to be perfectly honest." As she sees it, hooking up is more what you do between boyfriends, and it is often the only option for busy young women trying to juggle career, friends and romance.Gaffey, a graduate of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. "It's almost like attention-deficit disorder," she said.

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