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We think of counselling as a conversation with someone whom you can trust, who won’t judge you, and who wants to help.—Yves Montand Online sexual activity can involve various activities, such as viewing explicitly sexual materials, participating in an exchange of ideas about sex, exchanging sexual messages, and online interactions with at least one other person with the intention of becoming sexually aroused.Nevertheless, since online affairs are real, they do often cause actual harm to one's primary, offline romantic relationship.Accordingly, many people will be just as disturbed about a partner's online sexual affairs as they would be if they discovered that their spouse was exchanging steamy love letters with someone else.Thus, people may agree not to develop a relationship, permitting themselves only virtual one-night stands, or an uncommitted affair, or a promise with a partner to tell each other about each online affair.As one woman in a committed relationship remarks about her online sexual affairs: "I've had this discussion with my boyfriend, and we both agree that as long as it's not with the same person more than twice, it is really masturbation.
Basically, counselling is about talking to someone who knows a lot about many different issues that young people face.
In his stimulating paper, "Chatting Is Not Cheating," John Portmann defends online lust and characterizes about sex; he maintains that such talking is more similar to flirting than to having a sexual affair.
In reality, though, the issue of online cheating is more complex—especially when it concerns sexual activities involving actual interaction with other individuals.
Consider the following statement from a 41-year-old married man (all citations are from "My wife doesn't care if I have relationships (even sexual) on the Internet. These people believe that if they do not even know the real name of their cyber mate—and never actually see them—their affair cannot be regarded as from a moral point of view; it's no different from reading a novel or other form of entertainment.
In other words, it's a way to play out fantasies in a safe environment.