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As do monogamous relationships, non-monogamous relationships require mutual trust and respect, while cheating undermines trust, respect and consent. On the contrary, non-monogamy can be just as challenging as monogamy is, if not more so at times, as it introduces challenges into relationships that monogamous folks don’t have to grapple with quite as much. Time Management For one thing, it isn’t as though non-monogamous people are suddenly granted more hours in a day, more days in the week, etc.
To wit, cheating may fit the criteria of non-monogamy to the extent that there are more than two. We’re managing jobs, friends, family, pets and even kids just like the rest of the world. Right away that necessitates a lot more planning than monogamous folk have to worry about.
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But café girl goes out of town for two weeks on Friday.
Rather than the absence of jealousy, non-monogamy relies on an acceptance of jealousy, with the ultimate goal of acknowledging it, unlearning it, and replacing it with compersion - a feeling of happiness in one’s self derived from the happiness of another. Jealousy, while it can be worked with and talked through, is a natural emotion that even those of us who choose to take a non-traditional path still experience. Especially when you’ve grown up in a society that equates love to possession, the work of dealing with jealousy is not easy.
But scheduling is not even the most intense challenge that people who chose to practice non-monogamy find themselves faced with.
The biggest challenge non-monogamous folks face is rather monstrous, in fact. Jealousy Some may think that if you choose to be non-monogamous, it must mean you don’t get jealous.
A simple, “Just thought I’d swing by and surprise you for lunch,” can be a wee bit awkward if you’ve already got a lunch date with someone else.
You met a great girl at a café and she told you she’s free this Thursday. Except…you agreed with your primary partner that Thursday was their day to ensure your quality time.