Eli finkel northwestern online dating
“I wanted to share what I believe to be some of the most important findings from that scientific literature in a way that’s interesting and user-friendly for people who aren’t relationship scientists.” As documented in his book, Finkel follows changing expectations for relationships over time through three periods of history that are each linked to a level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs — a psychological theory presented in the form of a pyramid, ranking things like food and shelter at the bottom and higher needs like love and belonging toward the top.
Finkel shows that over time, couples have started to demand more from their partners in a desire to achieve higher stages of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs through their relationship.
But he argues that this wasn’t always the case, as marriage was originally a survival-based institution in which couples depended on each other to fulfill basic needs.
“The idea that you would only be with somebody who made your fingers tingle or that you would stand up at an altar and say ‘I want to marry you because you’re my best friend,’ (people) would’ve laughed at you because marriage was too crucial,” Finkel said.
While the thought of wedding bells chiming inspires feelings of love and romance for most, psychology and Kellogg Prof. Alexandra Solomon are far more interested in the psychology of matrimony.
The two have dedicated their careers to uncovering the science behind marriage and relationships: what makes them work, where they fall short and how to improve them.
“A big part of the class was talking about things that people haven’t talked about with anyone, or if anyone, only a very very close friend,” Zar said.
“People have such a wide variety of relationship experience in the college setting. Just having the chance to talk about that is something that felt really unique.” Solomon said in today’s day and age, “love matters” and students should stop pressuring themselves to have all of their feelings under control when it comes to romance.