Even though I love him so much, every time I see him I end up feeling small.Do you have a poem for this feeling of love that dwarfs you?I just wanted to live in a place where I can breathe.Can you share any poems that address losing someone you love because of hoarding?But oftentimes, this leaves me feeling left in the dust, like I am less than him, like I am a shadow in the wake of his constant transformation into a better self.Even when we pursue our mutual hobbies and interests together (even ones I know I’m quite good at), he somehow manages to surpass me in skill, making my achievements feel lesser.
He’s vibrant and interesting in all of the ways that I admire—he pursues old hobbies, constantly seeks out new ones, and curates his time to be the best version of himself he can be.
Does he catalog “in a pretty detailed / And comprehensive way the way(s)” he is more successful than you? If yes, it sounds like he is perhaps not the prize you make him out to be, that he may be neglecting a key part of his journey toward self-improvement.
It strikes me as a huge red flag when you say, “every time I see him I end up feeling small.” It’s possible that part of the situation might also be your difficulty perceiving your own self-worth, which could be rooted in any number of things.
—KA * I have recently had an old friend come to me and tell me he’s been in love with me since the first time we met.
I had been in love with him, too, but then I went to the hospital for an undiagnosed mental illness.