Dating for two years relationships
She also hasn't offered to let me stay at her place over the last three weekends because she had to study/go out with friends/go shopping etc.It is things like that which make me not trust her when she says she wants to marry me someday.In some ways I feel that she is staying in this relationship because I am her first boyfriend, it is comfortable, but it potentially is not something she wants to commit the rest of her life to.Wow, I feel really bad for you and it sounds like you are in a really bad spot.This is worrisome if you are with someone who has tendencies to use or manipulate others.But you didn't say whether she is like this, whether she isn't a team member, whether she doesn't put in her own dues (financial, household, etc.) If this isn't the case, you are very very very lucky and you should be patient with her.It normally manifested between her relying on emotional and financial support from her mom, but in many ways I was the one emotionally supporting her and making her feel comfortable.She has said that she wanted to talk about the future before she would feel ready to commit.
I have asked her to talk to her counselor about her deeper insecurity issue, but she is defensive and she believes her insecurity lies in the things that I have done (she says I don't tell her she is pretty enough, I don't tell her I love her enough etc.) and that it is not due to anything deeper.We had a really awesome relationship before this all happened and I was head over heels for her.She is emotionally needy and I knew that (to some extent) during our relationship.We both have been seeing counselors separately and we have gone to couples counseling together.My worry is that after going to my counselor for a while I have realized that I am co-dependent.